Did you HEAR me?

The following conversation occurred at 1:00am last night. I had taken a nap earlier and so couldn't fall asleep, and John had just come to bed because he had been doing some computer thing (and to be honest I was a little annoyed about it). John had not yet fallen asleep, but he was definitely only half conscious.

Me: I can't sleep.
JJ: Did I hear you? (an inside joke; he's obviously still conscious at this point)
Me: Yes, you heard me. What am I supposed to do?
JJ: (long, long pause....) Do a whole bunch of pull-ups. That'll make you tired.
Me: I can't even do one pull-up! Besides, where am I going to do these pull-ups?
JJ: On a pull-up bar.
Me: We don't have one.
JJ: Should we get one?
Me: No!!!

He went on in his delusional rambling for a while until I finally saw the futility of having a conversation with him, and I miraculously fell asleep.

love in any language

Sometimes I feel needy and insecure. When this happens, I act needy, insecure, and difficult. I know this makes me unattractive and less likely to get the actual thing I want (reassurance). I know it. But lifetime habits are hard to kick.

I'm starting to realize what my love languages are, though I'm not certain. (When are we going to finish reading the 5 Love Languages book, huh my dearest husband?) I would like to find out JJ's love language as well. So without taking the test, my guess is that my love languages are quality time and physical touch.

When I don't feel that I get enough of those things, I start to feel insecure. And that is when I start acting like a confusing brat. I have got to figure out a healthy, constructive way of communicating my needs, because the current method is definitely NOT working.

I'm just lucky my husband is so good to me anyway. I've been thinking about him all day today, about how blessed I am to have found such a good man. He truly deserves an award for putting up with me sometimes.

i'm in love, i'm in love and i don't care who knows it

Yes, that's right. I don't care who knows I'm in love. I don't care how cheesy you think this entry is--I am married to the best man in the universe and I can talk about it if I want to.

My husband cuddles with me every night and morning. I can't tell you how safe and how loved I feel because of this. Recently we had a sort of fight, and had stopped talking to each other for a while (I hate it when this happens, but...). When we went to bed, we put our arms around each other and it wasn't long before we were talking again. I love the time I get to spend cuddling with JJ.

I love when my husband and I are sitting next to each other and he reaches over and touches me on the leg or arm. It's not a major thing, but every time he does it, I feel very reassured and loved.

JJ is also very patient. Don't get me wrong, he's got a temper--as do I. But he is always willing to listen to me, to work things through, and to go along with my quirky thought process.

My husband is generous. If I ask him for something, he will do it without questioning me. I am so blessed in this respect. If there's a way to make me happy, he will do it. It's definitely something I can learn from him. I love my husband very much, but sometimes my selfishness gets in the way of doing good for him. JJ is very unselfish in giving to me. And I love him for it.

Sometimes I can be pretty needy, and JJ doesn't get annoyed by it. Instead, he hugs me, or says he loves me for the millionth time that day, or does whatever I need to feel reassured. Bless him for that, because sometimes I just need reassurance.

I'm not saying our relationship is perfect. We have problems just like everybody else, some of them more difficult than others. But I cannot say it strongly enough--I married an incredible man and I am blessed beyond measure because of it.

freaks and geeks

This morning I put my hair in two buns on my head Princess Leia style (though mine are the size of deer poop and hers are more like a cow pie). And it’s opening night of Star Wars Episode III, which we are attending this evening. No, I am not a freak. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I am picturing us standing in line tonight with all the other SW fanatics who will undoubtedly be dressed up (or is that just last night’s showing?) and I see myself FITTING RIGHT IN. Not good. What have I done?

speaking of bosoms

The other night I dreamed that I was forced to become an exotic dancer. It was awful. I told JJ this and he laughed. But then a couple of nights later he was in a semi-delirious state (which he often gets in and which I find endlessly amusing) and said, "Don't become an exotic dancer."

"Why not?"

"Because they'll make you get new boobs."

I didn't know whether to be flattered that he didn't want me to have better boobs, or offended that he doesn't think my boobs are good enough for the exotic dancer lifestyle (though I know for a fact they're NOT!). I went with the former. He loves me the way I am, and that's all I care about.

road rules

Our whirlwind roadtrip weekend is over. I think my husband estimated that we drove 1,600 miles in one weekend. That's a lot of time on the road. I was a real pill and drove my husband crazy. And of course, all the hours cramped together in a small vehicle didn't exactly help the situation. I have a theory as to why I acted this way...but I will refrain from posting the details.

Anyway, the wedding of our two friends Logan and Karen was beautiful. It was nice to hear a wedding ceremony other than our own, because I hardly heard a word of my own ceremony I was so happy and excited that day! We also got to see my sister Dooz run in a track meet. And visit with my grandparents and other family.

But all in all, it was an exhausting trip that I'm glad is over. I'm just grateful my husband puts up with me. He's a good man, that JJ.

the good times are killing me

Man, this ought to be fun...starting a road trip thoroughly annoyed with each other. My favorite. Road trips and bad tempers.

this is a test

And it is only a test.