Please give me your advice!

Okay, so I need your advice, especially if you've had back trouble before. But even if you haven't, please leave me a comment if you have any advice.

So here's the deal. I hurt my back, so I got x-rays. The x-rays came back with nothing broken, but with something that "might" be a muscle spasm. So I feel like I need more information. I may or may not have a muscle spasm, or I may have something different going on. And if I do have a muscle spasm, what should I do about it?

Here's my dilemma. Worker's comp is paying the doctor bills because it happened at work. (And they are so lucky I'm not suing.) But according to worker's comp, I can only see one doctor. Once I've seen a doctor twice, I have to stick with that doctor. Stupid, but those are the rules. So I need to choose my next step carefully.

I went to my primary care doctor for the initial check, which gave me the kn0wledge that I "might" have a muscle spasm. So I can still see someone else. SO HERE'S WHERE I NEED ADVICE: who exactly should I see?

My chiropractor? I like her; she's pretty good. A few session w/ her might resolve things. But Dr. Pam has an aversion to any western medical practices, which doesn't sit well with me. I don't trust western medicine any more than I trust any other type of medicine, but I still like to consider it a possibility.

An osteopath? This seems like a more holistic approach, which sounds good to me. But I've never been to one, so I don't know if they'd be able to help my back.

My primary care? She may be able to refer me to physical therapy, which I've done in the past and liked. But who knows if she would refer me.

Another option I'm not thinking of?

Seriously folks. I need help. Advise me. What would you do if you had back pain and a possible muscle spasm? Thanks for your help!

sang as they walked

John and I went on a four-mile walk yesterday. It felt surprisingly good. And the best part is that we did it in about an hour, which is fast for us.

We were actually doing a practice walk for an event we signed up for: Pat's Run. Proceeds from the race go to the Pat Tillman Foundation. I think it's a worthy cause, and I'm happy I get to be a part of. Not to mention that Pat Tillman is my dad's hero; I knew this run would mean a lot to him.

So next Saturday we (along with five other members of my family) will be walking 4.2 miles for Pat's Run. I'm so excited. My original plan had been to run this, but it turned out that walking was the better choice this time. I do have a goal that a year from now I (and I hope John too) will be running a 5k or two.

update on my goals

I announced last week that I had set a goal to exercise 5x a week, and I’m updating you on my progress. Last week I didn’t hit 5x. But I did do 3x, which is much better than I usually get. This week I plan to get the full five.

I just got back from my morning break; I walked around campus for 15 minutes. It’s an easy way to get my exercise in. Unfortunately, it’s starting to get hot around here; I’m going to have to find another simple way to exercise, because the heat is already killing me.

I also signed up for Joe’s Goals. I like it so far. I wouldn't say it's exceptionally motivating, but I do actually feel motivation if I know I get to check it off a list. So I think it’s good. At least I get to see the progress I’m making. I like it.

And if you’re wondering about the body fat percentage test I took…I’ll just say it was discouraging. My fat content hasn’t changed in the past two years, despite the effort I’ve put in to improve my health. I guess I’ll have to make some more changes. I have a feeling it’s the eating habits that are dragging me down.

i'm gonna do it

Okay, I am publicly announcing that I set a goal to exercise 5 days a week for at least 15 minutes. I signed up for Leo's March Challenge over at Zen Habits. Go sign up too--any goal you want to work on for the month of March.

They say if you tell people about a goal you're more likely to achieve it (because of the negative publicity if you don't). So I'm testing that theory out. The real challenge is setting aside 15 minutes and actually doing it. 15 minutes doesn't sound like a lot, but you'd be surprised how often I DON'T exercise for any amount of minutes. I'm starting out slowly to get the habit. I'd like to work up to 30-60 minutes of exercise. But first things first.

And to kick it all off, I coincidentally signed up for a health screening today. By 10am I will know my height, my weight, and my body fat...oy. I'll let you know how that goes...or not!

setting goals for my health

I wish I could find a doctor I had any faith in. I've been experiencing some vertigo/dizziness problems. I went to the doctor today because I am sick of this feeling.

She checked my ears for an inner ear problem and checked my eyes to see if it was a nervous system problem. I guess it wasn't that, because her only advice was: "Rest your eyes every 15-20 minutes."

Thanks. That's $10 advice I could have dispensed to myself. My only other option is to go with the advice of my chiropractor, and drink a special detox beverage. She thinks my hormones are out of whack, and a good detox would clear things right up.

What do I think? I think I need to treat myself to a strict regimen of exercise 5x a week (no excuses!), and seek out a new counselor. The exercise because of all its healing properties, and the counselor because I need a sounding board and because I want to learn to think in new ways. Healthy ways.

I really think exercise is the key to many, many problems in life. Exercise is better than many (if not most) prescription drugs at curing ills. Why I'm not strict about doing it, I haven't figured out. But that's going to change. I'm going to treat exercise like a prescription. It takes longer than swallowing a pill, but I know for me it's just as necessary.

So, along with my house-cleaning habits, I'm going to add exercise in.

today is a gift

I'm exhausted. I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically spent and there's pretty much nothing left. There are many explanations and reasons for why I am at this juncture, but what matters is this: it's time to take care of me.

And on a happy note, it seems that I have lost 3 pounds. I had given up on trying, which may be the secret here. I've tried for overall healthy, and tried to be active, but I stopped counting every single calorie that I ate. And that's when I finally lose weight...Interesting.

papago park

John and I hiked Papago Park this weekend. Isn't it beautiful? I wanted to take pictures, but ended up not doing so. However, we are awfully proud of doing a 4-mile hike.

I only wish my eating habits were as proactive and healthy as my exercise is. Baby steps, I guess. We have a scale now, though, so I am trying to be more accountable so I can see the scale go down and not up...

Anyway, the hike was fun. We plan to do it again. The trail was poorly marked, but I guess that was part of the adventure -- figuring out where to go next! I'd like to go hiking or walking 3x a week, but it's hard to squeeze it in to our schedules...it's our aim, though.

carbohydrates

I'm proud of myself. Ever since we talked to the nutritionist, I've taken her advice about carbs to heart. Yes, I still eat them, and yes, probably more of them than I should. Baby steps.

What I'm proud of is that I'm really trying to add protein to my diet and cut out carbs. My office has had cookies, cake, and candy galore these last few days. In the past, I would have tried some of each, just because it was there. This time, I'm rejecting most of it outright. If I do indulge, it's a very small bite, and it's because I really want it, not just because it happens to be there.

I'm starting to see benefits already. I feel better about myself. I feel good about making healthy choices, and I know they will pay off. I'm not going to cut anything out of my diet completely, because I think it's okay to indulge every once in a while. But I'm cutting waaaay back on the carbs, especially the sugary ones. It's making a difference.

And this morning I got some health news about my grandma. She's ok, but it reminds me how short our time is, and how we need to make the most of it. Itreminds me that I need to take care of my body and treat it well. I'm glad I'm learning how to eat better now, so that I can be healthy in the future.

i love cabbage

Our nutritionist told us a few months ago that John is insulin resistant. It took me several months to actually believe her. I’m a skeptic, and I had a hard time believing that it’s even possible to eat as few carbs as she suggested we eat. Let alone advisable.

But now I see that it is true. And for health reasons, it’s a good idea to finally pay attention and do something about it. What’s more, I may or may not have an insulin resistance myself, but I DEFINITELY get carb cravings when I don’t eat a ton of them. So what this means is that we have to change our diet around. Someone who’s insulin resistant should eat protein, vegetables, and one serving of a carb item (like rice or pasta) for each meal.

I’ll be honest and say that in the past some of our meals consisted only of carbs. :( I don’t generally like meat. But I loooove carbs. Give me a good loaf of bread and some cold cereal and I’d be fine eating only that for a few days. That’s not good for John, however. (Or me, but that’s another story…)

So last night I made a meal that consisted only of protein and vegetables. No carb at all! You’d expect a meal like that to be boring and gross. (Or at least I would.) But it was delicious! What was it? Well, I drew on my knowledge of Bulgarian cuisine, and morphed it into: cabbage and chicken! Doesn’t sound good on paper, but it was delightful to eat. And low in calories and carbs. I am so proud of myself for creating this dish. I think we’ll be eating it fairly often…

It's Friday! I haven't been good about updating my blog lately. Maybe because I just don't have a lot to say.

Recently I weighed myself and found out that I had gained two pounds. Fact: If I eat cookies and candy all day at work and don't exercise when I get home, I'm going to gain weight. So...I decided to start up SparkPeople again (I sort of slacked on that) and watch what I eat. John has been good at keeping me motivated for the exercise. He keeps going on DDR after I would have stopped, so I get more exercise in, which is good.

AND, I got enough sleep last night, which is a first. Guess what? I don't feel tired today! I feel wonderful. All I did was go to bed an hour earlier, and look what happens! I can't believe the difference it made for me.

How boring am I? Talking about losing weight and sleeping. Sigh.

short-term goals

My very short-term goals. I'm going to focus on these fairly exclusively right now.

Job search. I'm searching hard until the right opportunity arises.

Get in contact with old friends. I'm feeling an extreme need to speak to people I haven't talked to in years. I don't know why. I only know that I feel sad I ever lost contact with some of them, so now starts the task of finding them and getting back in touch. Why did I let some of my good friends go? I don't know how to describe or even explain my level of distress over this loss.

Practice my guitar and mandolin. I'm going to start a band someday. I'm going to cut a record. Then you can say that you knew me. Or read my blog or something.

Read a bunch. I made a goal to read a book a week for the year 2006. I'm a little behind -- we're on week 28 and I've only read 24 books. The problem is that I often start books but don't like them enough to finish them. Most of them self-help books (see embarrassing post). So, time to start reading some good fiction. Nancy Pearl, my librarian idol, gave some good ideas on NPR the other morning. If you have any suggestions, let me know. I'm partial to teen & young adult fiction.

Those are the main things right now, besides exercise and eat right. I want to mention that I have made a concerted effort to exercise every day, cook healhty meals EVERY DAY, and even make healthy lunches for John and I. This is exhausting, which is why we used to eat out a lot. We don't anymore. On Saturday, I made two dinners and froze them both. So that helps a little. But for the most part, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen creating healthy masterpieces, and that is time I used to spend elsewhere. Sigh. I just feel extremely nostalgic. I feel like I missed out on something important and it's too late to go back and get it. This attitude is very defeating, because it prevents me from living my life now, and that's a waste. Hopefully this funk will move on down the road relatively soon.

not in need of metamucil

I made the most delicious lentil soup yesterday. So yummy. So healthy. But guess what, folks? The soup had 22 grams of fiber per serving!

Holy bathroom break, Batman!

blue to the bone

So I dropped the two classes I was going to take this summer -- fitness and nutrition. It wasn't the right time, and I don't feel like doing homework at the moment. Nor do I feel like paying $100 for one textbook.

Good riddance. Now I can focus my attention on...what? I always come back to this. I like to read books. I like to watch movies. I like to exercise. I like to eat. I'm working toward getting fit and losing the weight I gained this past year. Because of that I am loving exercise more than I ever thought possible. But after that, then what? I don't really have any goals. I go home at night and I play on the Internet because I can't think of anything better to do.

This entry is quickly turning into a sad one, and I didn't mean for that to happen. I just feel so lost right now. I feel like I'm missing out on something important.

this has been a good week

I have a SparkPeople update. I weighed in on Friday, and I've lost another pound and a half! Which is good, because I was getting quite frustrated about the scale not budging for me. But I’ve been eating better and exercising more, and it’s starting to show. Yay me!

Someone else I know and love also lost a few pounds, but I won’t post his info unless he clears me to!

And guess what else? John dyed my hair! I dyed his black, he dyed mine red. It was quite the party. Except when I sat down and the chair leg was on top of John’s foot. Ow. Not so fun. But he did a good job on my hair.

And I don’t know how or why it happened, but I am addicted to The Apprentice. There’s nothing I can do about it now except watch this thing through to the bitter end. Then I need to shun the tv, because I just get addicted to dumb shows when I watch.

I had a really good weekend, by the way. We hung out with friends on Friday, and as friends seem to be in short supply these days, we enjoy the ones we have. Then on Saturday my whole family came to visit, and we went swimming, toured the Mystery Castle, ate at the TGIFriday’s overlooking Chase Field, and held a Murder Mystery party. Oh, AND we played DDR until we collapsed. Good, good times.

Also, because we had family coming, our house is so clean! I love it. It feels so good to be in a clean house.

So life is good. And getting better every day.

Join the revolution!

We did something I never saw myself agreeing to – we bought a Playstation2 on Monday. Why did I agree to this? I hate video games, I hate the killing games they make, I hate how my brother spent most of his childhood in front of a computer screen.

But, I LOVE Dance Dance Revolution!!! John and I have been contemplating the purchase of a treadmill for exercise. But a treadmill is very expensive and very large. So…I came up with the idea of buying DDR for our exercise. Two days later, (on Monday of this week) we came home from BestBuy with all the materials needed.

I was (and still am) so excited! It's the most brilliant invention ever. And we’ve been playing it faithfully ever since we bought it. I don’t have much coordination, so DDR is pretty challenging for me, but it’s so fun! I never thought I would enjoy exercise this much. Here's to losing weight while having loads of fun.

Anyway, if you know us in real life, come over and play with us! Consider yourself invited.

hey, it's all one big crapshoot anywho

My plan to look good isn’t going quite as well as I had hoped.

The good news is that I have consistently worn my step counter, and have increased my daily average by 500 steps each week. So that means this week I’m up to 6,500 steps per day. (When I first started, my average was 4,000 steps a day.) That probably doesn’t sound like much to many of you, but it involves me taking a 20-minute walk every day at lunch. I’ve also started doing a weight workout once a week—the goal is at least twice a week, but we’re talking baby steps here. I’m pretty proud of my efforts in this realm.

The eating has not gone as well. I somehow manage to sabotage myself at every turn. I eat yogurt and a granola bar for breakfast, fruits and veggies for snacks, a healthy lunch, and then I pig out in the evening on greasy Mexican food takeout and top it off with ice cream. I get nowhere doing that. Probably because of this, my stomach looks as big as before (or bigger). I get discouraged.

You know what else is discouraging? The instructors of my health and wellness class. The nutrition expert is chubby. The exercise expert is built like a linebacker, and not all of that is muscle. Are they not following their own advice? Because at the end of this course, I want to look and feel a little better than I did when I started. I’m discouraged, but I’m not giving up.

Tonight, one of my best friends will be dyeing my hair. Saturday I’m getting it cut. And someday very soon, I’m hopefully going to be wearing these . Or these.


And very soon I’m going to call a counselor for my emotional health. I’ve been trying to make the call for a couple of weeks now, but I’m scared. I know I need it, it’s just hard for me to pick up the phone and do it. But it’s time. I want to make myself and my marriage into something better, and I know this is the way to do it. I’m just scared of revealing my thoughts and feelings to someone—I have a problem being vulnerable. (Hence, why I need to get counseling in the first place.)

It sounds funny—a person (me) who puts a blog up for anyone to stumble upon is scared to reveal her true thoughts and feelings. But it’s different on a blog. I edit my thoughts here. I don’t generally blog about the bad stuff, or the problems I have, or the emotional mess I am sometimes. Can you see why this would be a problem in a marriage? My fear of revealing my true self sometimes prevents me from being a full, true partner to my husband, and that is not acceptable to me. I think a counselor can help me with that. There are more issues to deal with, but that is a big one. (Wow...I wasn’t even sure where to start with counseling, but writing it out has pointed out one of my main problems!)

Anywho, I’m still alive. I’m working on my goals, and I’m trying to become a better person (both inside and out). I’m just getting exhausted by the effort.

you're so vain, you probably think this post is about you

I have a goal to look good. Actually, the goal is to look damn good. Is that shallow? JJ tells me it’s not a shallow goal, but I feel a bit vain verbalizing it. However, feeling vain is not enough to stop me. I’m very focused on this.

As I said before, I’m taking a class on health and nutrition, and I’ve made changes in my lifestyle. I walk A LOT more than I ever did. On my lunch hours I take walks instead of sit at my desk. I’ve started working out with weights a couple times a week. I’ve also stopped eating candy and junk during the day and have exchanged them for fruit and vegetable snacks.

I’m doing these things because I want to look good, not necessarily because I want to be healthy. Everyone always says “I’m doing it to be healthy”, not “I want to look hot.” But hey, I’m not afraid to admit it.

I found a cool hairstyle that I want, and I’m going to dye my hair darker brown and put red highlights in it. I’m getting new glasses (The ones I wear are at least two years old. And I am unable to wear contacts for the time being). I’m going to get up early enough to do my hair every day rather than put it in a ponytail like I usually do.

I even plan to get a new wardrobe, though that part will be tricky—I don’t exactly have any money in my budget for that…We’ll see. Get this, I even bought some manicure equipment and am going to do my nails and toenails on a regular basis.

I’m serious about this. I’m tired of feeling unattractive. I want to feel sexy. Could this have something to do with the fact that my birthday is approaching faster than ever? Probably. Let’s face it, I’m turning 31 in three months. 30 was okay, because it just rounds out the 20s. But 31, that means I’m IN my 30s. Yikes! I don’t want to look like a middle-aged housewife or something. Not that there’s danger of that right now…I’m just majorly into prevention in this instance.

It doesn’t help that JJ is turning 25 this year. He loves to remind me that I’m practically his grandma. :) Okay, he’s not that bad. But still. Here’s what I want. When people see us, I want them to think I’m younger than he is. So far, people think of us as the youngster married couple. What they don’t know won’t hurt them! I just want to keep it that way.

So anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the looking good goal. I’ll even post pictures of my hair when I get it done. Thanks for listening, and don't think I'm too vain!