Tuesday, May 02, 2006

more down than up

Today is somewhat of a down day.

Maybe it's because we came back from my parents' house yesterday after spending time with all the siblings at my sister's wedding. I love and miss my family. I wish we all lived closer to each other.

Maybe it's because I feel (again; this happens periodically) that I have no purpose in life. The things I think about on a daily basis: exercising, eating healthy, what I'm going to make for dinner, what part of the house I'm going to clean, building my relationship with my husband, improving my spirituality, making new friends and building the friendships I already have.

That's a pretty good list of what I think about during any given day. But you know what? It's boring! Where are the grand plans for changing the world or at least making a difference in the world? Where, in the midst of cleaning house, making dinner, and exercising, is ME?

Am I making any sense? My life is a checklist, and sometimes I'm pretty good at getting all the checks done in one day, but it doesn't really fulfill me in the long term. What the heck am I looking for? Why am I not content?

Sorry. Just venting. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

2 comments:

nora lee said...

Hey, you just summed up my boring life too. Of course I have to add dirty diapers and the struggle to get my child to eat, but you know...same basic line of thinking. We could be in a club.

east of eden said...

You need something totally frivilous....take me, I like to read cheap mass market paperbacks, at least 2 a week. Does it help me in my relationships with others or build spirituality? No, but it does allow my mind some drift from the hum-drum of life and the problems I face. Reality TV is also good, but that's another story.