Thursday, September 29, 2005

the sun'll come out, tomorrow

I’m sad today. I just need to put my feelings out there; I’m sure I’ll get over them shortly. Right now my thoughts and feelings are a jumble.

I had a nightmare last night. I woke up sad and didn’t know why. Then I remembered the contents of the nightmare. It was a sad dream and I couldn’t shake the feelings, even knowing it was just a dream.

I hate my job. The $9,000 raise I got in June increased my job satisfaction for a while, but now I’m back to empty again. My job is fairly thankless, the mistakes I make are pointed out abundantly, I’m constantly behind in my work, and I’ve had just about enough of it. At least I can say that I am learning new things and that I enjoy some of what I do. That’s probably the saving grace of the whole thing. I can last 7-8 more months, and then I want to be out of here. (Don’t tell anyone I work with, though.)

I’m lonely. I feel like I’m drifting along with no purpose and no reason to keep going. Today I just want to give up. I won’t, and I’m sure I’ll feel better soon, but today that’s how I feel. Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I should see a counselor like I keep telling myself I will...

Sigh. I guess it's hot chocolate and old movies for me tonight. Maybe that'll help. Maybe not.

3 comments:

kimbo said...

I just had to tell you I think it's so cute you use hot chocolate and old movies when you're down! I should try that. I am so sorry you're sad. I wish there was something I could do to help. Sounds to me like you need a puppy session or something. :)

Als-pals said...

Holli -

Sorry you're sad!! Not that this'll make you feel ANY better, but I did finally update!! hehe

Ally

holli jo said...

Thanks kimbo. I appreciate it. And yes, you should try the old movies and hot chocolate. I find it very comforting!

And als--it's about time you updated!