Thursday, September 08, 2005

transcripts from JJ's dream

My husband sometimes slips into a dream state at night where he is almost certainly asleep but fully able to carry on conversations. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever witnessed. It happened again a couple of nights ago, and for your viewing pleasure, I wrote out nearly word for word our converstations.

Behold the subconscious interior of my husband's random brain. (He's J and I'm H):

J: He shouldn’t sleep until September.
H: Who shouldn’t?
J: The guy in the green shirt.
H: Why?
J: Because, then he could be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
H: Who is this guy?
J: Just some guy.
H: He’s wearing a green shirt?
J: Yeah. In the picture. But he probably has other shirts.
H: Yeah. But maybe he just has one shirt.
J: That would be sad.
H: Would you give him some of your shirts?
J: Uh…yeah. But I don’t have his address.
J: Swipes frantically at his ear.
H: What’s wrong?
J: There was a frog in my ear.
H: No there wasn’t.
J: Yes there was.
H: Well, where did it go?
J: It hopped off.
H: Are you going to catch it?
J: Right now?
H: Yeah, if you want to.
J: No. It’ll be there in the morning.
Suddenly there is a loud knocking…sounds like it’s coming from the neighbor below us, but it’s hard to tell, and in light of J being so out of it, I am a little scared.
H: What was that?
J: The frog.
H: No, it wasn’t.
J: Yes it was.
H: Can we keep the frog as a pet?
J: Yeah. If it’s not poisonous. Do you have hard feet?
H: Yeah. Why?
J: If you touch a poisonous frog your skin will get soft.
H: Really?
J: Yeah. I stepped on a poisonous frog once and that’s what happened to my feet.
H: Uh…But seriously, what was that noise earlier?
J: I thought it was the frog.
J: While shuddering: Ow. I wish they’d give me some room.
H: Who?
J: These people. There’s tons of room and they’re crowding me.
H: Where are you?
J: On campus.
J: Shudders again. Ow. Stupid bicycle. I hate bicycles.
J: Shudders again: Ow!
H: What happened?
J: I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.
H: (At this point I figured I better get him away from this painful dream.) J, it’s okay. You’re not on campus, you’re in bed with me.
J: No I’m not.
H: Yes you are. Don’t you feel me touching you?
J: Yeah; you’re on campus with me.
H: No, we’re in bed. Let’s go to sleep now.
J: But first we need to go to the job fair at the MU. Is it 3 yet?
H: No. It’s nighttime. We should go to bed and you can go to the job fair tomorrow.
J: But what if the job is taken?
H: It won’t be.
J: For credit card, please press one.
H: What?
J: It’s a gas pump. Gas is expensive.

Somehow I finally got JJ to go to sleep. (Well, I think he was sleeping already, but I got him to settle down and stop talking!) I’ve heard of sleepwalking, but sleep talking is new to me. It’s a very strange phenomenon. It can be pretty entertaining…the stuff that randomly comes out of his head.


gabby said...

Heh. I had a roommate once who did this. Freaky, yes, but unspeakably funny as well...

Anonymous said...

Oh, as in the Matthew Lesko that dresses up like the Riddler from Batman and hops up and down from benches in the Washington, D.C. area? Weirdo...

skibigsky said...

Frequently I will have 'conversations' with my husband, where I am dead asleep, and he thinks I'm awake. Typically (so I'm told, as I don't rememebr these episodes), if he asks me if I'm asleep, I will say yes, but other than that, I sound fairly coherent, if a little mumbled. Go figure. Of course, I have also woken up, and told him something vitally important (waking myself up in the process), only to have him ask me what the devil I was talking about, and since I'm now awake, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Bizarre? Yeah. But totally normal. (So I'm told!)

Randonsmom said...

This is hilarious!

reva said...

the gas one is my favorite - how funny for us, but wow that would be sooo creepy!

TK said...

This is hilarious! Jackie and I acted them all out for my family after dinner for tonight. I was JJ and Jackie was you! :)

eli said...

that is too funny, and cute. I did that once with my ex it was just as funny as what you posted. Next time you should interogate him, you will be amazed as to how sincere theses men are when all their defenses are down. Just remember not to hold anything against him or her. If you decide to do it.