My husband sometimes slips into a dream state at night where he is almost certainly asleep but fully able to carry on conversations. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever witnessed. It happened again a couple of nights ago, and for your viewing pleasure, I wrote out nearly word for word our converstations.
Behold the subconscious interior of my husband's random brain. (He's J and I'm H):
J: He shouldn’t sleep until September.
H: Who shouldn’t?
J: The guy in the green shirt.
J: Because, then he could be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
H: Who is this guy?
J: Just some guy.
H: He’s wearing a green shirt?
J: Yeah. In the picture. But he probably has other shirts.
H: Yeah. But maybe he just has one shirt.
J: That would be sad.
H: Would you give him some of your shirts?
J: Uh…yeah. But I don’t have his address.
J: Swipes frantically at his ear.
H: What’s wrong?
J: There was a frog in my ear.
H: No there wasn’t.
J: Yes there was.
H: Well, where did it go?
J: It hopped off.
H: Are you going to catch it?
J: Right now?
H: Yeah, if you want to.
J: No. It’ll be there in the morning.
Suddenly there is a loud knocking…sounds like it’s coming from the neighbor below us, but it’s hard to tell, and in light of J being so out of it, I am a little scared.
H: What was that?
J: The frog.
H: No, it wasn’t.
J: Yes it was.
H: Can we keep the frog as a pet?
J: Yeah. If it’s not poisonous. Do you have hard feet?
H: Yeah. Why?
J: If you touch a poisonous frog your skin will get soft.
J: Yeah. I stepped on a poisonous frog once and that’s what happened to my feet.
H: Uh…But seriously, what was that noise earlier?
J: I thought it was the frog.
J: While shuddering: Ow. I wish they’d give me some room.
J: These people. There’s tons of room and they’re crowding me.
H: Where are you?
J: On campus.
J: Shudders again. Ow. Stupid bicycle. I hate bicycles.
J: Shudders again: Ow!
H: What happened?
J: I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.
H: (At this point I figured I better get him away from this painful dream.) J, it’s okay. You’re not on campus, you’re in bed with me.
J: No I’m not.
H: Yes you are. Don’t you feel me touching you?
J: Yeah; you’re on campus with me.
H: No, we’re in bed. Let’s go to sleep now.
J: But first we need to go to the job fair at the MU. Is it 3 yet?
H: No. It’s nighttime. We should go to bed and you can go to the job fair tomorrow.
J: But what if the job is taken?
H: It won’t be.
J: For credit card, please press one.
J: It’s a gas pump. Gas is expensive.
Somehow I finally got JJ to go to sleep. (Well, I think he was sleeping already, but I got him to settle down and stop talking!) I’ve heard of sleepwalking, but sleep talking is new to me. It’s a very strange phenomenon. It can be pretty entertaining…the stuff that randomly comes out of his head.